black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.

Aisha Tyler

So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
AISHA TYLER

Doing Funny Life Live Minute Much Quick Radio Sou Spot Stand Stranger Surgical Three
So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.
AISHA TYLER

Comfortable Foibe Hide Instead Longer Show Stand Think Up Wanting
Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
AISHA TYLER

Blame Else God Human Immediate Look Much Parent Politician Resource Someone Toddler
My parents were vegetarians. I’d show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.
AISHA TYLER

Cloth Kids Parent School Stick Vegetarian
I wish I could say I’m an architect and planned it this way, foresaw doing all these things, but honestly, I’ve been lucky that things have come across my path and they’ve worked out well for me.
AISHA TYLER

Across Almost Architect Come Foresaw Honesty Lucy Out Path Plan Pressure Well
Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
AISHA TYLER

Again Bucket Drool Fave Heard Rivulet Running Toddler Wall Watery
I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
AISHA TYLER

Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking
Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.
AISHA TYLER

Culture Failing Fall Pop Want
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
AISHA TYLER

Deserve Hero Kill Nice People Save Zombie
Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.
AISHA TYLER

Experience Human Make Scar Tough Turn Wound
Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
AISHA TYLER

Definitely Gnawed Hand Man Maybe Nail Stubby
I’m such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
AISHA TYLER

Always Geek Nerd Real Such
I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like,
AISHA TYLER

Fail Hate Husband Love Think Want
Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
AISHA TYLER

Carnival Marriage Ride
Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
AISHA TYLER

Comedy Honest Raw Ugly
I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
AISHA TYLER

Pander So Try Want

I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Aisha Tyler Quotes