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I was really unhappy. I had a great job that I should have loved, yet I was miserable. I slowly realized that was because I wasn’t performing. So I just tried stand-up and fell in love with it after one performance.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
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Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
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Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
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But I love stand-up, and it’s where I came from creatively, so it’s something I never want to walk away from.
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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
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I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
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I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
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You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
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I don’t believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies. There’s a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic.
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Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
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So everything is all the same job in my eyes, and I don’t want to ever give up any part of it.
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If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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I grew up on the back of a motorcycle – my dad didn’t have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.
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