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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

Aisha Tyler

I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
AISHA TYLER

Deserve Hero Kill Nice People Save Zombie
the freedom to live a life free of fear of violence, to select a fulfilling career and be compensated fairly, to choose when to start a family, to marry whom you love.
AISHA TYLER

Brand Carrer Compensate Everyone Family Free Freedom Life Live Marry Personal Start
“Trust me, you don’t want to have to actually interact with these people.”
AISHA TYLER

Actual Interact Me People Trust
When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
AISHA TYLER

Cell Doing Funny Girlfriend Phone Quick Radio Spot Stranger Undone
Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
AISHA TYLER

Be Each Just Kind Marriage Mystery Other Selfish
I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
AISHA TYLER

Actually Attorney Comedy Living Something Wanted
Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
AISHA TYLER

Definitely Gnawed Hand Man Maybe Nail Stubby
Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
AISHA TYLER

Bad Good Grateful Omnipresence Suppose Thing Thinking Want
I was not one of those people who wanted to be a comedian when I was growing up. I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living.
AISHA TYLER

College Comedian Growing Kid Loving People Up Wanted
I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.
AISHA TYLER

Friend Hope Kindest Little Own Probably Supportive
I think diversity in television is important. It’s not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity.
AISHA TYLER

Diversity Fill Idea Important Opportunity Quita Satisfy Some Television Thinking Trying
I was raised by a single dad, so I’ve always just kind of liked “guys” stuff. I think my dad just took me to the things he was interested in.
AISHA TYLER

Dad Guy Kind Like Single Stuff Thinking
Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
AISHA TYLER

Each Embrace Ethnic Group Other People Teach Tell Trying
So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.
AISHA TYLER

Comfortable Foibe Hide Instead Longer Show Stand Think Up Wanting
When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
AISHA TYLER

Bother Change Comment Eventually Going Kind Point Realize Younger
I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
AISHA TYLER

Amusement Brush Childhood Life Luckily Moment Other Painful Torture Wrenching

I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

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