I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
AISHA TYLERI spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
AISHA TYLERThe best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.
AISHA TYLERTV always wants more people to be watching.
AISHA TYLERSo much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
AISHA TYLERI like grown up comedy.
AISHA TYLERI like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
AISHA TYLERI always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.
AISHA TYLERNothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
AISHA TYLERI have one girlfriend who is dating right now – she’s divorced – and she’s on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that’s not a real game, but it’s my favorite thing to do.
AISHA TYLERAm I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
AISHA TYLERComedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
AISHA TYLERKaraoke is the great equalizer.
AISHA TYLERWounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.
AISHA TYLERI love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
AISHA TYLEREvery ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
AISHA TYLERI visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
AISHA TYLER