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I actually wanted to be an attorney. I did do things on the side like improv and sketch comedy, but law was my focus. I was a very bookish, academic kid. When I got out of college,

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Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
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I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
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After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’
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“Trust me, you don’t want to have to actually interact with these people.”
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So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.
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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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I like grown up comedy.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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You know, it’s about getting out there and having a good time. Not about worrying .
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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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I started out being a stand up and writing my own material. That took me to Talk Soup, where I was writing and performing for TV.
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But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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So everything is all the same job in my eyes, and I don’t want to ever give up any part of it.
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