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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.

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Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
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They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.
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I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like,
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I have one girlfriend who is dating right now – she’s divorced – and she’s on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that’s not a real game, but it’s my favorite thing to do.
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Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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I was not one of those people who wanted to be a comedian when I was growing up. I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living.
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One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I’ve always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.
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You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
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I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
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I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
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