I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
AISHA TYLERI take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
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If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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On general principle, I boycott shows that don’t employ actors.
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When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
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Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
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Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
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All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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I was really unhappy. I had a great job that I should have loved, yet I was miserable. I slowly realized that was because I wasn’t performing. So I just tried stand-up and fell in love with it after one performance.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
AISHA TYLER