black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.

Related Topics

Amusement Brush Childhood Life Luckily Moment Other Painful Torture Wrenching

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
AISHA TYLER

Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking
I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
AISHA TYLER

Actually Almost Down Lying More Myself Satisfying
If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
AISHA TYLER

Astronaut Awesome Celebrity Drinking Driver Fun Party People Racecar Suck Unless Working
On general principle, I boycott shows that don’t employ actors.
AISHA TYLER

Actor Boycott Employ General Principle Show
When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
AISHA TYLER

Bother Change Comment Eventually Going Kind Point Realize Younger
Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
AISHA TYLER

Comedy Honest Raw Ugly
Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
AISHA TYLER

Again Bucket Drool Fave Heard Rivulet Running Toddler Wall Watery
Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
AISHA TYLER

Accomplishment Passionate Require Running Sorry Success Wall Work
I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
AISHA TYLER

Bone First How Love Say Stand Started Up
Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
AISHA TYLER

Bad Good Grateful Omnipresence Suppose Thing Thinking Want
All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
AISHA TYLER

All Book Closet Come Date Like Prada Shoe Women Young
Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
AISHA TYLER

Ability Ass Disappointment Feet Floor Real Sacrifice Scrape Sorry Stumble
I was really unhappy. I had a great job that I should have loved, yet I was miserable. I slowly realized that was because I wasn’t performing. So I just tried stand-up and fell in love with it after one performance.
AISHA TYLER

Fell Job Love Miserable One Performing Realize Slowly Stand Unhappy
I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
AISHA TYLER

Pander So Try Want
I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
AISHA TYLER

Pander Time Trying Want
I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
AISHA TYLER

Actually Attorney Comedy Living Something Wanted

Copyright: 2020 - 2023 | Minimalist Quotes