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They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.

Aisha Tyler

I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
AISHA TYLER

Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking
So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
AISHA TYLER

Doing Funny Life Live Minute Much Quick Radio Sou Spot Stand Stranger Surgical Three
Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.
AISHA TYLER

Culture Failing Fall Pop Want
You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
AISHA TYLER

Back Getting Keep Look Right Up
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
AISHA TYLER

Deserve Hero Kill Nice People Save Zombie
If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
AISHA TYLER

Move Need Poop Ruin Someone Terminate Thing Workplace
When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
AISHA TYLER

Cell Doing Funny Girlfriend Phone Quick Radio Spot Stranger Undone
All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
AISHA TYLER

All Book Closet Come Date Like Prada Shoe Women Young
I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
AISHA TYLER

Different Good Grown Spoken Time Trying Up Want Way
I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
AISHA TYLER

Control Doing Inventing Lying Myself Olympic Phone Visualize Wave Win Winning
I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
AISHA TYLER

Actually Almost Down Lying More Myself Satisfying
When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
AISHA TYLER

Behind Fire Look Old Slow Sown Stone Want
Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
AISHA TYLER

Bad Culture Great Pop Time
I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.
AISHA TYLER

Back Country Some Toronto Wait Waiting
Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
AISHA TYLER

Be Each Just Kind Marriage Mystery Other Selfish
“Trust me, you don’t want to have to actually interact with these people.”
AISHA TYLER

Actual Interact Me People Trust

They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.

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They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.

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Popular Authors

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