I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
ADAM FERRARAThere were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
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I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
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There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
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I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
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Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
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What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
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You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
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I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARA