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There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’

Adam Ferrara

I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
ADAM FERRARA

Bathroom Funny Humor. Trying Make Nice Night Now Thing Use
Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
ADAM FERRARA

Come Conquest Driven Ego Funny Humor Lie Lying Sexual Tend
One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
ADAM FERRARA

Day Figure Funny Hobby Humor Life Man Shower Special
I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
ADAM FERRARA

Basically Catholic Feel Funny Good Humor Religion Religious Stop
What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
ADAM FERRARA

Funny God Going Hell Humor Know Reason Woman
There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
ADAM FERRARA

Broke Difference Funny Humor Kiss Reason Religious Room Up Walked
As soon as you lay down, that’s when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. ‘Goodnight, baby.’ ‘Do you think we were together in a past life?’ ‘Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
ADAM FERRARA

Baby Bizarre Down Funny Good Humor Most Mouth
If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
ADAM FERRARA

Country Drive Home Nobody Rain Raining Stay
My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
ADAM FERRARA

Car Dad Guy Money Spend Trust Vehicle Wanted Working
Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
ADAM FERRARA

Friend Funny Humor Important Need Sex Story Tell
Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
ADAM FERRARA

Bed Feel Forever Go Like Soul
I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Humor Meet Mial Order Perfect Think Thinking Woman
The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
ADAM FERRARA

Born Change Constant Decay Fall Funny Humor Minute State
I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
ADAM FERRARA

Bed Boogie Funny Hurt Man Middle Night Pop Running Under
I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Girl Humor Meant Meet Sincerely Sleep
The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
ADAM FERRARA

Biggest Funny Girl Girlfriend Humor Life Love Now Right Thing

There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’

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There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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