I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
JOSEPH HELLERBut that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
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Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
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Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.
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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
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But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
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They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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I wouldn’t want to live without strong misgivings.
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Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for.
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Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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Frankly, I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
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He was never without misery, and never without hope.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
JOSEPH HELLER