Every writer I know has trouble writing.
JOSEPH HELLERHe knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it.
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Rise above principal and do what’s right.
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I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Frankly, I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
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But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
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Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
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Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
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When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody
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All of my books deal in a very rough, rude fashion with subjects about which there are great conflicts of opinion.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind.
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The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
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You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
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Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
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The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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Insanity is contagious.
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She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
JOSEPH HELLER