Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it.
JOSEPH HELLERWhen I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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Insanity is contagious.
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There is no disappointment so numbing as someone no better than you achieving more.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
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Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for.
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I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.
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Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?
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It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
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But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
JOSEPH HELLER






