If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
DICK GREGORYWhen you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
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I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
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To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
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In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don’t know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
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Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
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Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
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When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
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If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
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One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.
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The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.
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You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
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I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
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My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
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You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
DICK GREGORY