It’s cool to be healthy.
DICK GREGORYWhen you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
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Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
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When you shoot right and truth and justice down, the more right and truth and justice will rise up.
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There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.
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I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
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Every door of racial prejudice I can kick down, is one less door that my children have to kick down.
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Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
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One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.
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There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
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Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
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Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
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No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That’s already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
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America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
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If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
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I believe young voters will either vote for Obama or not vote at all. So the problem is not Obama the problem is the system. If you think about how mess up this country is, most folk really don’t have choices.
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When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
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Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
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I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
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Did you know that in New Orleans they still have brown bag parties? What’s that, you ask? You and I go to a party, and when we get to the door, there’s a brown bag hanging down from the ceiling, and if our skin is darker than the brown bag, we can’t go in.
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The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
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To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
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And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
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You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
DICK GREGORY