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Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.

Bill Watterson

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure. The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
BILL WATTERSON

Failure Headed Resources Success Truth
I liked things better when I didn’t understand them.
BILL WATTERSON

Liked Thing Understand
Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Mom Peas Plan Sorry
Reality continues to ruin my life.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Life
If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
BILL WATTERSON

Butter Control Funny Life Peanut
What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cheat Game Idiotic Lose Play Sneaky Some Undermanned
We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
BILL WATTERSON

Allow Current History Need Prejudices Versions
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I’d say our afternoon just got booked solid!
BILL WATTERSON

Humorous Running Solid Water
Calvin: Today for show and tell, I’ve brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake!
BILL WATTERSON

Learning Snowflake Thinking Unique
I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
BILL WATTERSON

Autopsy Bigs Mouths People
Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
BILL WATTERSON

Cutting Mom Vegetables
Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
BILL WATTERSON

Animal Ask Friendship Kindness Problem
Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
BILL WATTERSON

Beautiful Grow Up Thinking
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
BILL WATTERSON

Comic Existentialism Laughing Strips
The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.
BILL WATTERSON

Admire Special World

Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.

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Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.

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