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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

Bob Saget

I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
BOB SAGET

Anymore Dirty Laughing People Stuff
Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
BOB SAGET

Apology Stuff Vintage
It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
BOB SAGET

Smart Teacher Yoga
What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating.
BOB SAGET

Lines Phones Trying
Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET

Except Nobody People
I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
BOB SAGET

Causes Drink Fighting
It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
BOB SAGET

Long Okay People
Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
BOB SAGET

Fake Politics Sincerity
I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
BOB SAGET

Nice Pieces Salmon
My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGET

Breakfast Causes Mom
The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
BOB SAGET

Kids Responsibility Wine
My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGET

Diapers Saint Wife
I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
BOB SAGET

Body Morning Red
All I’ve ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.
BOB SAGET

Around Done Heaviness Trying Way
I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
BOB SAGET

Boys Car Country Years
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue

They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

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