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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’

Bill Hicks

May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
BILL HICKS

Day Glasses Perhaps Water
Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
BILL HICKS

Dream Funny Ideas Revolutionary
Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
BILL HICKS

Land might Pick Please
I’m very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn’t possibly think of yourself… Good evening!
BILL HICKS

Empty Life Thinking Tired
Rock stars against drugs–that’s what we want, isn’t it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We’re partying now!
BILL HICKS

Approved Party Rocks Stars
You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I’m not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that’s the connection they’re trying to make.
BILL HICKS

Connection Make Trying
I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Mean
Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that’s their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm… Sounds like… every commercial on television, doesn’t it?
BILL HICKS

Essentially Thinking Trying Two
I’ve had seven balls of light come off a UFO…explain to me telepathically we are all one and there’s no such thing as death.
BILL HICKS

Balls Light Seven
They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Good Life Smoking
Marijuana grows naturally…Don’t you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don’t know, unnatural?
BILL HICKS

Law Marijuana Thinking
Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I’ll prove it to you. You’re at a ball game or a concert, and someone’s really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
BILL HICKS

Drunk Games Marijuana Obnoxious
It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
BILL HICKS

Country Party Political
We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
BILL HICKS

Adam Dreams Enough Eve Instant
I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
BILL HICKS

Drink Friday Weekend
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKS

Country Light Thinking

People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’

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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’

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Popular Authors

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