Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
BILL WATTERSONI’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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Calvin: Life’s a lot more fun when you aren’t responsible for your actions.
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So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
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Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
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Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I’m looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I’ll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What’s your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.
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The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
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Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?
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Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you’re done before you know it.
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I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
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That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
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I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
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At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It’s a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few.
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In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
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I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
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What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
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Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
BILL WATTERSON