black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Bo Burnham

For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
BO BURNHAM

Comedians Men Say Anything
I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
BO BURNHAM

Simple Stuff Trying
I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Inject Like Production
Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
BO BURNHAM

Bible Jesus Kindness
I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
BO BURNHAM

Dollars Long Pussy
I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Girlfriend Uncle
When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
BO BURNHAM

Ideas Thinking Writing
I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Fans People
Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
BO BURNHAM

Fake Kings Talent
The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
BO BURNHAM

Eras Golden Thinking
I’m interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they’re scary, and they’re important to think about.
BO BURNHAM

Interested Real Scary Thinking
Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
BO BURNHAM

Art Aware Comedy Self Song
I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
BO BURNHAM

Cereal Men Remember Thinking
We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
BO BURNHAM

Blue Country Moon People
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Guy Humor
I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.
BO BURNHAM

Changed Focus Happy Try Trying

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bo Burnham Quotes