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We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Bill Watterson

Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?
BILL WATTERSON

Clock Funny Leader Roger
I don’t enjoy lettering very much, but that’s the way I write and that belongs in the strip because the strip is a reflection of me.
BILL WATTERSON

Lettering Reflection Way Writing
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Future Humorous
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
BILL WATTERSON

Long Memories Outside School Successful Term
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
BILL WATTERSON

Contact None Sometimes Think Universe
I’m related to people I don’t relate to.
BILL WATTERSON

People Relate Related
The whole idea of hobknobbing and schmoozing and the concept of an “elite” class of celebrities better than the common people has always made my stomach turn.
BILL WATTERSON

Celebrities Class Common Ideas People
You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Failure Resources Wells
That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
BILL WATTERSON

Bad Perseverance Remarkable Worse
You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulation Cynically Expect Manipulate Nothing Taught
I’d hate to have a kid like me.
BILL WATTERSON

Hate Kids Like
Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
BILL WATTERSON

Assembly Baby Cheaper Dad Light Sears
Boy, there’s nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.
BILL WATTERSON

Boys Inscrutable Omen
You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
BILL WATTERSON

Body School Spirit
Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
BILL WATTERSON

Delusion Faces Life People Preposterous
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
BILL WATTERSON

Invention Mother Motherhood

We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

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We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

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Popular Authors

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