My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
BOB SAGETIt’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
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Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
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I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
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I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
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Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
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What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating.
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It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
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The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
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25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
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Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
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Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
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I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
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Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
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When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
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Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
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I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
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In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
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I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.
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I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET