You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
BILL HICKSI’ll tell you how to solve this abortion thing…Those unwanted babies…? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don’t think a Marlboro Light’s gonna faze him that much.
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
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…love rather than fear…this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope…surely there is hope for us all.
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
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I’m very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn’t possibly think of yourself… Good evening!
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’
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I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night.
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I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
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There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue – those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS – but they remain strangely silent.
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I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.
BILL HICKS








