[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’
BILL HICKSNo one can give you any answers. There aren’t any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
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BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.
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I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
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This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions.
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I’ve had good times on drugs…bad times on drugs…But I’ve had good and bad relationships…and I’m not giving up pussy.
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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
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I’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let’s put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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I’m very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn’t possibly think of yourself… Good evening!
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Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.
BILL HICKS






