• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.

Billy Connolly

Related Topics

HammersMore

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Prevoius| Next

More Billy Connolly Quotes

• 

  I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. … That can keep me awake for days.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  FunnyHumorMorningSnowplough
• 

  Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  FraudulencePeoplePompositySometimesThinkingWater
• 

  Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  ArchesAudiencePeople
• 

  I’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  CitizensPeopleRepresentedThinking
• 

  I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce – my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions – the absurdity of the thing.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  Between PeopleBodyCountryCrossesMalfunction
• 

  I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  ArsesLaughingPoseSayYears
• 

  I think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  HugeLoveSimplyThinkingYou
• 

  Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  FireForestsTree
• 

  There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  AdventureBeingHappyRunning
• 

  I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  BecomingEngineerJoinedKnowingQueues
• 

  I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  CatholicGuiltLevels
• 

  Don’t buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They’re bastards, and they do it on purpose.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  BabyBastardPurpose
• 

  The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things… after the weather.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  CountryPatronishingRegionWeather
• 

  As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  CountryReservesSuccessful
• 

  Don’t work out, work in.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  neverOutWork
• 

  The great thing about Glasgow is that if there’s a nuclear attack it’ll look exactly the same afterwards.

  BILLY CONNOLLY
  AfterwardComedyLooksNuclear