The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things… after the weather.
BILLY CONNOLLYDon’t work out, work in.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
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Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding’s a mystery to me now. You can’t go back, your life changes every day.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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For me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
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I’ve always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can’t tell to an audience.
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I’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
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I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there’s a nuclear attack it’ll look exactly the same afterwards.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
BILLY CONNOLLY







