“I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.”

We really are All One….this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.

It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.

In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth… see you at the final.

We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.

I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine!

I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul

Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.

Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.

Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.

Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.

I ascribe to Mark Twain’s theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.

I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When?’

People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it

I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .

I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.

And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say “you’re not sorry” and walk away.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.

Half of what i say is meaningless.

Trust is important. But once a promise is broken ‘sorry’ means nothing.

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Honestly, never meant to offend anybody. i apologize if i did. had no bad intentions. got offered a ride in the humvee and took it.

If ignorance is bliss, then don’t wake me up.