When life gets you down, make a comforter!
BO BURNHAMWhen I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
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I just think they aren’t true. I’m saying that our generation wants stuff that is substantial and challenging, as well as thoughtful and endearing. Well, I don’t know if I’m doing that, but I’m trying.
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People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
BO BURNHAM