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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.

Billy Connolly

I think age is terribly overrated. You’re okay as long as you don’t grow up. By all means grow old, but don’t mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Childlike Growing Mean Thinking
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
BILLY CONNOLLY

International Language Music Sorry Swear
There’s a fine line you have to tread because you don’t know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Auditorium Fine Line Offened Tread
I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Dog Doors Independent Stuff
I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Clubs Comedy Comics Done Eight Weird
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Blow Make Think Thinking Useless
Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Anthem Boring Country Funny Humor
Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Bit Fun Jobs Laugh Occupation
Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Expensive Looks Stolen
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Needs People Toilet
I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Brought Catholic Guilt Level
Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Jobs Jon Tell Workplace
I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Acting Consuming Drawing Stuff
I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce – my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions – the absurdity of the thing.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Between People Body Country Crosses Malfunction
I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Believe Jesus Teacher
Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, “Did you fall?” He said, “No, I’m tryin’ to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.”
BILLY CONNOLLY

Chocolate Fall Pocket

Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.

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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.

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