I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKSWhat’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
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I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed. And for the first time in the history of mankind, something new, called an astronaut. But like so many kids brought up on a steady diet of Westerns.
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I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.
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The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are
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We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!
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Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
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I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
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Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
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At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.
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Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
BILL HICKS







