“Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.”

Calvin: Life’s a lot more fun when you aren’t responsible for your actions.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. . . .

I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word ‘booger’ in a newspaper comic strip.

Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T

As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.

Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!

Since September it’s just gotten colder and colder. There’s less daylight now, I’ve noticed too. This can only mean one thing – the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn’t going out.

They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!

I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

Few things are less comforting than a tiger who’s up too late.

The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

I don’t enjoy lettering very much, but that’s the way I write and that belongs in the strip because the strip is a reflection of me.

Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!

If any one dares today I am in pain.

Sincerity is the key which will open the door through which you will see your separate parts, and you will see something quite new. You must go on trying to be sincere. Each day you put on a mask, and you must take it off little by little.

Come crawl atop me and we will spend the daylight buried in kisses.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

You don’t have to do any more than the bare minimum today.

Maybe not this year or the next but one day they’d end up married. In this lifetime and every one after it. Just knowing that I’d get to watch them find each other and fall in love in every life made me smile.

These Days I’m feeling real good.

The more I work, the more I see things differently, that is, everything gains in grandeur every day, becomes more and more unknown, more and more beautiful. The closer I come, the grander it is, the more remote it is.