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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.

Bill Hicks

I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
BILL HICKS

Coffee Real Skins
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor People Two
Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Stories Today
I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That’s faith in action folks! You know he’s got God on his side.
BILL HICKS

Funny Glasses Humor Mobile Seeing
You know what I hate about working? Bosses…The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well…I think you see the conflict.
BILL HICKS

Hate Ideas Thinking
I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint… it has to do with creating and sharing.
BILL HICKS

Believe Creating Order Planet Purpose
[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’
BILL HICKS

Bullshit Comedy Thinking
I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
BILL HICKS

Australia Party Thinking
That’s why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you’ve learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
BILL HICKS

Drug Facts Make Psychedelic Realize
Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
BILL HICKS

Answers Helping People
Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
BILL HICKS

Artistic Causes Commercial Sound
How do I know the Bible isn’t the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand…considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
BILL HICKS

Atheism Atheist Religion
I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine!
BILL HICKS

Country Mean Most Surprise
Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
BILL HICKS

Caffeine Energize Friday Monday Productive The Figure
I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
BILL HICKS

Business Kids Men Running
I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it’s not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they’re Napoleon. That’s fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don’t share them like they’re the truth.
BILL HICKS

Believe Bible Dad God People

Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.

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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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