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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.

Billy Crystal

As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Actors Character Directors
In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Football Games School
Change is such hard work.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Change Inspirational Work
Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
BILLY CRYSTAL

Feels Looks Reach
I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Caught Limits Married
When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
BILLY CRYSTAL

Criticism Government Long
I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Goes Laughing On
Don’t give up your power.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Don't Give Up Giving Up Power
You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Muscles Stage World
It is better to look good than to feel good.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Feel Good Looks
I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedy Jazz Thinking
At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Bases Nightly Something
I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hands Sex Two
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Remember Same Things
If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Father Respect
My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Fun Grandchildren Grandparent

Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.

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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.

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Popular Authors

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