“Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.”

We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!

I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!

STRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.

The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are

May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?

Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.

What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!

Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.

Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we’re all one?

Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.

If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.

You want a better world…? Legalize pot right now. …end the deficit? Legalize pot right now…biggest cash crop in America.

It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.

If we added up the killed and wounded from the Democrat wars in this country, it would be about 1.6 million Americans.

The Forsytes were resentful of something, not individually, but as a family; this resentment expressed itself in an added perfection of raiment, an exuberance of family cordiality, an exaggeration of family importance, and the sniff.

Super-stardom doesn’t scare or excite me. It’s just another ingredient added to my world.

You will have added your conception, your artful piece of stone.

When I put my pen to a blank sheet, black isn’t added but rather the white sheet is deprived of light.

Islam is perfect, there is nothing to be added or changed.