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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

Billy Crystal

I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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Guidance Now Then Thinking
I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
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Baseball Country
The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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Ashes Friday Passion
I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
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Comedy Jazz Thinking
We were in front of a live audience and I would be acting with the man who was playing my lover, and we used those words, and the audience would titter and laugh, and make me uncomfortable doing the scenes. …
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Audience Front Growing Men Self Used
Don’t give up your power.
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Don't Give Up Giving Up Power
It is better to look good than to feel good.
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Comedian Feel Good Looks
Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
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Comedy Kids Scary
As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
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Actors Character Directors
Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
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Celebrate Children Easter Guess Jesus Peep
[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
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Dad Stars Uncle
Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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Country Funny Humorous
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
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Remember Same Things
I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
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Hands Sex Two
You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
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Hands Kids Play
Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Acting Comedy Truthful

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

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