MOMMMM, I’m thirsty… What’s this, just water?
BILL WATTERSONCalvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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I don’t think you’ve ever invited me to… Calvin’s Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin’s Mom: You’re contagious! You can’t have anyone over to play!
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You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure. The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
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County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that’s the problem.
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Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.
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I’ve got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it.
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You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
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Mothers are the necessity of invention.
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I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.
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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
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Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!
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Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
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I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
BILL WATTERSON