Don’t work out, work in.
BILLY CONNOLLYI don’t think I’ve ever died on stage. I’ve had jokes that died on stage. I’ve told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn’t know it was the end of the joke.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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The more you know the less the better.
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People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
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If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
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I don’t aim to offend.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
BILLY CONNOLLY







