“Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.”

That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It’s a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few.

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.

If people looked at the stars each night, they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.

Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?

All the new media will inevitably change the look, function, and maybe even the purpose of comics, but comics are vibrant and versatile, so I think they’ll continue to find relevance one way or another. But they definitely won’t be the same as what I grew up with.

The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.

There are no restrictions of taste, approach, or subject matter. The gatekeepers are gone, so the prospect for new and different voices is exciting. Or at least it will be if anyone reads them.

Sleepwalking?” “Nightmare?” “Homicidal psycho jungle cat!

Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.

I’d hate to have a kid like me.

I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?

I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.

You have the Swiss Army Knife of mental tools, and it’s going to come in handy all the time.

Only bad generals need heroes.

If we acknowledge our need for God, he will help us.

What we need of equipment is this: let it possess as good a structure as the real-life content that surrounds us. We need more simplifications to free us for seeing.

Everyone needs help from everyone.

For the longest time I have had so much belief and confidence in myself, which as an actor you need, because the entertainment industry is incredible competitive, brutal, and unpredictable just when you start to think you know what’s going on.

You do not ask a tame seagull why it needs to disappear from time to time toward the open sea. It goes, that’s all.

Unfortunate the country that needs heroes!

Even in the very beginning when she would bump into George Valentine and people would start taking pictures of her, she never thought “I’m with George Valentine. I need to get a picture with him.” She’s like “oh that’s funny. Everyone’s taking pictures!”