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Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.

Bill Hicks

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Stories Today
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
BILL HICKS

Jobs People Vote
I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
BILL HICKS

Australia Party Thinking
The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are
BILL HICKS

Powerful Real Thinking
Marijuana grows naturally…Don’t you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don’t know, unnatural?
BILL HICKS

Law Marijuana Thinking
They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Good Life Smoking
Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
BILL HICKS

Artistic Causes Commercial Sound
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Funny Hurt
I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
BILL HICKS

Evening Information Reality
I’m very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn’t possibly think of yourself… Good evening!
BILL HICKS

Empty Life Thinking Tired
You know what I hate about working? Bosses…The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well…I think you see the conflict.
BILL HICKS

Hate Ideas Thinking
I don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?
BILL HICKS

Christian Jesus Kings Neck
Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
BILL HICKS

Keith Nuts Plot Runner
What before seemed a…frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
BILL HICKS

Comic Steps Wall
I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
BILL HICKS

Cold Environment Next War

Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.

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Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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