“To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.”

I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.

Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows.

The CIA has a plot…they’ve used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem…is convincing Hussein…to fly to Dallas.

Humanity is just a virus with shoes.

I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.

Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.

People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy, it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.

The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.

This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.

When you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.

Why is pot against the law? It wouldn’t be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can’t make a profit off it, would it?

While I’ve found many of the religious shows I’ve viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I’ve never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet – turning off the TV completely.

This is where we can discuss the evidence [of the chemical weapons ], but he doesn’t have it. He didn’t present it because he doesn’t have it, Kerry doesn’t have it. No one in your administration has it. If they had it, they would have presented it to you as media from the first day.

At the end, I said [chemical weapons] is something not to be discussed with anyone.

We’re not sure that if there’s chemical weapon used and who used it. We can’t talk about virtual things, we have to talk about facts.

We don’t discuss this issue [ chemical weapons ] in public because we never said that we have it, and we never said that we don’t have it. It’s a Syrian issue ; it’s a military issue we never discuss in public with anyone.

Actually, he gave false evidence [of chemical weapons]. In this case,[John] Kerry didn’t even present any evidence. He talked “we have evidence” and he didn’t present anything. Not yet, nothing so far ; not a single shred of evidence.

Ridicule is about the most powerful weapon possible.

That the rebels or the terrorists used the chemical weapons in northern Aleppo five months ago [in 2013].

The accusation of cultural insensitivity is a weapon.