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While I’ve found many of the religious shows I’ve viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I’ve never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet – turning off the TV completely.

Bill Hicks

Mister, I don’t want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble, Mister.
BILL HICKS

Candy Kids Look Mister Rocks Wife
Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
BILL HICKS

Added Age Bible People Years
We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
BILL HICKS

Adam Dreams Enough Eve Instant
I go to dance clubs…about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going ‘God, what idiots!’
BILL HICKS

Apartment Clubs Idiots Years
You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
BILL HICKS

Book Phones Political
People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
BILL HICKS

Better Esteem Feel Self War
I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
BILL HICKS

Collective Ego Trying Unconscious
To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
BILL HICKS

Marijuana Mistake Weed
It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.
BILL HICKS

Cards Dog Objects Tricks
I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I’m fascinated by it. I’m fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that’s interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy.
BILL HICKS

Democracy Interesting Jesus Lying Sarcasm
I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
BILL HICKS

Happiness Ideas Laughter Revolutionary
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Funny Hurt
I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don’t think a Marlboro Light’s gonna faze him that much.
BILL HICKS

Light Marlboro Overcome The Figure Think
I’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
BILL HICKS

Country Deals Salute
I can’t believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.
BILL HICKS

Belief Commercial Long War

While I’ve found many of the religious shows I’ve viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I’ve never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet – turning off the TV completely.

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Popular Authors

While I’ve found many of the religious shows I’ve viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I’ve never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet – turning off the TV completely.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Hicks Quotes