“I’m funny. I’m a comedian. I’m not a clown.”

I want to do something that people can really say, ‘Hey, man, that was good, I’m proud of you, I’m proud of that.’ ‘Pride’ and ‘Transformers’ and things like that.

I’ve never been no superficial cat.

Comedy has been so good to me.

Whatever success I’ve had, I always like to top it.

I don’t care about how I look; I’m dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so – my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn’t care about being cool.

Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.

I hate to compare anything, especially while I’m promoting. I feel that’s another disrespect, but ‘Ocean’s 13’ is the best movie I’ve ever done in my life. No question.

That’s the whole key to anything: Don’t be afraid to fail. And is not afraid to fail.

I hate to let people down. I was like that in sports and I was like that in comedy. I was like that at work. When I worked General Motors and stuff like that, when I say something, I mean it.

You don’t see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can’t play the game. I can’t – my tolerance – I know I’m getting old; I’ll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I’m getting old? ‘Cause my tolerance level is low.

Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.

I can’t build myself by beating somebody down.

I love my daughter, but there’s a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?

If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.

The Bernie Mac Show’ is my life. It’s the truth, and I’m not ashamed of a minute, an hour, or a second of my life.

When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars – that’s heaven here on earth.

You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can’t believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.

The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.

For aspiring comedians? Don’t listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.

Whatever talent I had, I’m sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors.

I want to have fun. Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I’m a comedian; I ain’t no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.

I’m not a politician, I’m a comedian. I know my limitations.

I don’t defend what a comedian might say but I defend to the death his right to say it.

Whatever happens in life can happen on the stage, but as a comedian you should always be clear what your target is. It’s fine to be gratuitously tasteless if that’s what you are intending to do. It’s that old line: