You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
BEN ELTON
The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
BEN ELTON