I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
BEN ELTONYou didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
BEN ELTON