Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
TINA FEYEven more amazing: not the worst review the movie got.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure?
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According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon.
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So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”
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You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.”
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There are no mistakes only opportunities.
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It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.
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People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
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A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do
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For my first show at ‘SNL’, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs.
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When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
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I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
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You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.
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Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
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North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror.
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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
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I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
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Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.
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My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.
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In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone “come out” to you is the “pretending to be surprised” part.
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There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
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My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously.
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Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
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