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You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.”

Tina Fey

If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly.
TINA FEY

Book Dominate Mad Male People Practical Tip Woman Workplace
If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
TINA FEY

Call Feel Good Internet Yourself
Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
TINA FEY

Arm Change Educate Energy Nothing Rock Year
This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
TINA FEY

Collector Country Funny Humor Penny People Person Pound Thousand Year
Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
TINA FEY

Another Boy Boys Country Gorgeous Interested People Person Play Problem White
My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
TINA FEY

Answer Apple Cauldron Fortune Good Juicy Mother Parent Poison Same Standard Work
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
TINA FEY

Beauty Care Hilarious Important Inspirational Inspiring Rule
It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.
TINA FEY

Boring Overrated Perfect TV Witty
North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror.
TINA FEY

Absolute Act Country Interview Intolerable Refer Terror Wanton
When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
TINA FEY

Already Clarify Come Feel Humour People Real Someone Work Working
There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable.
TINA FEY

Aldy Comedy Couple Impact Job Sleep Thing Want
You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
TINA FEY

Humor People Smart Tell Witty
When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
TINA FEY

Autistic Coworker Emotion Person Picture Recognize Struggle Taught Worst
I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
TINA FEY

Action Class Country First Make People Place Statement Voice
I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
TINA FEY

Amount Conflict Fight Fighting Like Passion Same Thing Think Thinking Tremendous
There are no mistakes only opportunities.
TINA FEY

Inspirational Mistake Opportunity Successful

You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.”

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You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.”

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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