“If we’re going to win the pennant, we’ve got to start thinking we’re not as good as we think we are.”

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you’re older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.

I’ve tried to give a dollar and 25 cents in work for every dollar paid me.

I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

If I’ve got a good pinch-hitter, I hate to have him stay on the bench with men on the bases in an early inning. He may end the game right there.

Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.

Never make predictions, especially about the future.

No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball.

Everybody line up alphabetically according to your height.

I was not successful as a ball player, as it was a game of skill.

Don’t cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.

You got to get twenty-seven outs to win.

The trick is growing up without growing old.

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.

The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn’t argue with one. I’d put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

You gotta lose ’em some of the time. When you do, lose ’em right.

I’m not going to change who I am. I’m not going to change why I’m running… I’m running for president [in 2016], and I’m running because we can’t afford another four years like the last eight years.

When I’m president of the United States, we’re going to have a VA that cares more about our veterans than about the bureaucrats who work at the VA.

A blindness to what is going on in each other’s hearts.

Any commodity that sees its price going higher will see new mines opening up.

If you’re in a small town somewhere and you can go and visit Paris, you can go to the top of Everest, that’s just cool. It’s worth it because you become more educated in something.

How is Hillary Clinton going to lecture me about living paycheck to paycheck? I was raised paycheck to paycheck.

When you’re going through a period of unhappiness, a broken love affair, the death of someone you love, or some other disorder in your life, then you have no refuge but writing.

People say, ‘Well, whose career do you follow? Where do you see your career going? What movie do you want to do next?’ And I can’t tell you what type of movie I would go and do next.