Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNSFirst you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
More George Burns Quotes
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS






