I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNSFirst you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
More George Burns Quotes
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS