If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.

RON WHITE

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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.

Ron White

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Bagwalas

I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.

RON WHITE

I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
RON WHITE

Anybody Make
We always go out looking for live music after our shows.

RON WHITE

We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
RON WHITE

After Go Out
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.

RON WHITE

I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
RON WHITE

Idea Make Much
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

RON WHITE

I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
RON WHITE

Bowl Halftime Socer Super
A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.

RON WHITE

A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
RON WHITE

Find Lot Something
I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.

RON WHITE

I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
RON WHITE

Complicate Guarantee
If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.

RON WHITE

If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
RON WHITE

Blue Collar Rougher See Tour
My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.

RON WHITE

My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
RON WHITE

Band Brother Chill
I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.

RON WHITE

I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
RON WHITE

Country Start Surplus Think
I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.

RON WHITE

I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
RON WHITE

Been Down Fine One Ladder
I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.

RON WHITE

I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
RON WHITE

Advertise Before Club Go Rumour Sell Theater
I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.

RON WHITE

I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
RON WHITE

Cigar Collection Go Imply Last
The next time you have a thought… let it go.

RON WHITE

The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITE

Next Thought
If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.

RON WHITE

If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
RON WHITE

Have See Someone Word
Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.

RON WHITE

Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
RON WHITE

Bit Could Idea President Single Tunnel
Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.

RON WHITE

Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
RON WHITE

Day Doing Eighteen Fifteen Hour Thing

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