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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.

Ron White

I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
RON WHITE

Comedy Kid Little
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
RON WHITE

Another Attention Brain Deficit Disability Disorder Information Learn Mean Odd Proces Quite Way
We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
RON WHITE

After Always Go Live Look Music Out Show
I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
RON WHITE

Central Comedy Enjoy Watch
I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
RON WHITE

Lot Make Money Set Stand Up Ways
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
RON WHITE

Daily Friendly Gay Judgement Life Lot Love Men Practise Stuff
I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
RON WHITE

Great Live Lot Rock Sound Star Travel
People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITE

Alcoholic Drink People Say Work Workaholic
Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
RON WHITE

Bit Build Could Country Good Idea People President Single Tunnel
I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
RON WHITE

Bring Friend Gather Hopefully Laugh New Soldier Spirit
I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
RON WHITE

Belief Drag Fan Little On Only Principle Road Will
Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
RON WHITE

Achieve Any Back Come Earn Haunt Someone Time
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITE

Beg Comedian Famous More Tend Universe
There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
RON WHITE

Across Bridge Build Comic Kinda One People Through Two Walk
There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
RON WHITE

Act Backlog Exist Fire People Reason
The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
RON WHITE

Country Good Majestic Theatre

If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.

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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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