If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITEIf you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
More Ron White Quotes
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don’t need my help.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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I go through about 140 cities a year.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
RON WHITE






