A humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
P. J. O'ROURKETo mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I rarely meet a politician that I don’t like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
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A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
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The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
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Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
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You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
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The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there’s a reason for that – the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent – No Child Left Behind.
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The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt.
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Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
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Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
P. J. O'ROURKE






