You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
P. J. O'ROURKETo mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
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America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being ‘hegemonistic’, of engaging in ‘unilateralism’, of behaving as if we’re the only nation on earth that counts. We are.
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.
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I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
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Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There’s more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it’s awfully close to human.
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It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
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There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
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Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
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Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
P. J. O'ROURKE