Regulation creates a moral hazard.
P. J. O'ROURKETo mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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I read good. I was an English major.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
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In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
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There isn’t much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.
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If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
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America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How’d they get so rich? Because they’re free.
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The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
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Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
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Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
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By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
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Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
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Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.
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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
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As a former writer for the ‘National Lampoon,’ I’ve probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.
P. J. O'ROURKE