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I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it’s a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us.

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It was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private.
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If Republicans eliminate Medicare, America will become a country in which you can never retire – and once you physically can no longer work, you are desperately poor until you die.
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It’s not preppies, cause I’m a preppie myself. I just don’t like homosexuals. If you ask me, they’re all homosexuals in the Pudding. Hey, I was glad when that Pudding homosexual got killed in Philadelphia.
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No one is more sensitive to the issue of overeating than the creator of Stuart Smalley.
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Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
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There is – I mean – I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.
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As someone who’s spent time with our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan on USO tours and met wounded warriors at Walter Reed and Bethesda,
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Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government asked me to serve as a fellow at its Shorenstein Center on the Press, Politics, and Public Policy.
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that is eventually going to have an effect on soldiers and troops who are actually going to believe that and it’s wrong. It’s just wrong.
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I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone.
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My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.
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Comedy to the Senate? Well, there certainly hasn’t been a satirist or a political satirist who’s done that. So, that really was uncharted territory during the campaign.
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I grew up in Minnesota, where we treasure our tradition of civic engagement – and our record of having the nation’s highest voter participation.
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I wish I had spent more time at the office and less time in prison.
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They had developed all these bad habits of being objective and balanced and stuff like that.
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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
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