“What you see on the campaign trail is me. It’s easy being me.”

To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It’s – I think they might use too much oil in their hummus – but it’s the wrong question.

Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’

When a company is able to establish a dominant market position, consumers lose meaningful choices.

This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.

At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.

As a source of innovation, an engine of our economy, and a forum for our political discourse.

I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.

If you control the flow of information, you can control the conversation around important issues. If you can control the conversation, you can change this country.

creates jobs all over the world, and makes life easier for millions of Americans.

And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’

Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn’t do the only job they’re supposed to have.

And the agencies concluded that the Russians had a clear preference for President Trump.

Part of the middle class promise is that, after a lifetime of hard work, you’ll be able to retire and enjoy the fruits of that labor.

I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.

Whining is anger through a small opening.

The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had.

I’m very concerned that a lot of our land is being taken up with solar farms.

The last sound on the worthless earth will be two human beings trying to launch a homemade spaceship and already quarreling about where they are going next.

There is a gigantic difference between earning a great deal of money and being rich.

A sensible man ought to think about that well being is the best of human blessings, and find out how by his personal thought to derive profit from his sicknesses.

I love being at home and cooking and baking.

If you have a big problem in your life, all that means is that you are being a small person!

Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.

The third level of wanting is “I commit to being rich.” The definition of the word commit is to “devote oneself unreservedly.” This means holding absolutely nothing back; giving 100 percent of everything you’ve got to achieving wealth.